Funny Stuff and Demotivational posters

If you didn't get this one, you're screwed

Source A

Source B

Mr Low : Time waits for no man, you cannot have too much time doing anything

Source B is unreliable as Source A Contradicts What Source B has depicted

Grow Up, Please.

You think my blog's adult, after looking at my blog you guys are scared of me because I'm a

FARKING PERVERT?

Fuck hell...

Like he said,

C'mon, people! Grow Up, Please!

We're all in the Fucking Age where adult stuff shouldn't get us agitated...

Are you good at playing games like Halo, Counter Strike, Star Craft, Tekken, etc?

After a study of 200 Dutch men, scientists found that those with a premature ejaculation problem all had a version of a gene that controls the release of serotonin. And, unfortunately for all of you awesome Call of Duty players out there, those affected seem to "have very quick reflexes. They may be excellent at playing tennis or computer games, for example." Oh, cruel fate!

Well, at least now you have an excuse, both for your lousy performance in the sack and your awesome performance on Xbox Live. The only problem is that now you can expect a whole new barrage of insults coming over your headset every time you take down an opponent.

So what's this mean for you in the long run, my prematurely ejaculating, headshotting friend? Maybe a drug that'll let you last longer without buying those condoms with numbing juice in the tip. However, if you had the option of taking a pill that would make you a stallion in the sack but make you suck at video games, would you do it? Talk about your tough decisions. 

Now all the lausy gamers out there, we have a reason to smile even after loosing eh?

gotta love this.

http://img395.imageshack.us/img395/7428/madaramefc6.gif

See the full image for animations. wait for it, its loading.

Hmm wow, i actually mde something japanese to cook today, especially well done. Example pic

Not one i made, well, mine is opposite of this picture, the inside is pretty well done, all swirly round and round...

But the outer cover is pretty messed up...

Reason being, i dont know what the hell is 'stock' they said use dashi... what the hell is that? heh whatever, i made this.

Looking at how the inside swirls round and round, I'm pretty much hesitant to eat it... Cuz its my first time trying to make a tamagoyaki (thank fully well done, and i'm sure i can make another one...) and... i need to buy more eggs before i can make another one...

Police Line of Work

Police shit.

Dispatcher: 9-1-1
Caller: Yeah, I'm having trouble breathing. I'm all out of breath.
Darn....I think I'm going to pass out.
Dispatcher: Sir, where are you calling from?
Caller: I'm at a pay phone. North and Foster.
Dispatcher: Sir, an ambulance is on the way. Are you an asthmatic?
Caller: No
Dispatcher: What were you doing before you started having trouble breathing?
Caller: Running from the Police.

Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What's the nature of your emergency?
Caller: My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart
Dispatcher: Is this her first child?
Caller: No, you idiot! This is her husband!

Police Quotes:

"Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy, and step in monkey DOO."

"Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?"

"So you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?"

"Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? In case you didn't know, that is the average speed of a 9 mm bullet fired from my gun."

"If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

Civilian Friends and Police Friends

CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Bail you out of jail and tell you what you did was wrong.
POLICE FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you in jail saying, 'Darn...we screwed up...but man, that was fun!'

CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that 's what the crowd is doing.
POLICE FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds' ass that left you behind.

CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Will talk crap to the person who talks crap about you.
POLICE FRIENDS: Will knock them out for using your name in vain.

Girls would probably find this a piss off, or think i'm strange.

But i'd still want to share some stuff, news, that i tought would find guys with dates interesting.

Girls, if you still want to treat me as your friend, i suggest you don't read this.

Okay, Havent received any interesting news these days, so cant be helped, this is the only one that poped up.

1

2

3. Okay i counted to 3, and you're still on this page. let the news begin

Four 24-year-old women were chatting up my 30-something friend Matt last week in a bar when the topic of male pubic hair came up. Turns out all four of the ladies prefered guys who are completely hairless down there. Matt's exact words: "They didn't even want a picket fence around the flag pole—they wanted bald!"

The girls didn't care if a guy waxed or shaved, they just wanted his below-the-belt pelt to be MIA. I checked out a few online surveys and gleaned that about one in five women feel the same way. I'm not one of them (neatly trimmed is more my style), but it goes to prove something very important: Women are way kinkier than you think

Guys frequently ask me how they can persuade their girl friends or wives to be spanked or turned on with toys. The answer, most of the time, is to just quit dithering and do it already! Bring handcuffs into the bedroom and, chances are, she'll offer you her wrists.

Human Evolution

I'm sorry if it'd offended Africans... But... how the hell did Korea ended up like that?

If given the chance, I want to look like this.

(MGS 3 Snake eater, Jack, Big Boss, Naked Snake)

Spelling bee.

This is how a real spelling bee should be like.